That question often brings doubt and low self-esteem, which is why I decided to offer you a portrait of the reality of moms. The reality that I describe in these sentences comes from many secrets that I gathered from moms met in focus groups, workshops, and conferences.
A word of caution: of course, all experiences are not listed, and you may have a different point of view! However, rest assured that you’re never alone.
What moms want the most
They want to be good moms, which means meeting the physical and emotional needs of their children. And they want to achieve all that in a state of love, patience, and permanent happiness!
What moms want to achieve
They want to successfully implement many of the recommendations made by experts, sometimes at the expense of their own sense of competence.
What moms fear the most
They are afraid that their choices, their actions and their way of being a mom could harm their children.
What moms seek
Mothers are looking for a caring and respectful ear to be able to talk about their experience and somehow feel relieved.
What moms have difficulty accepting
It's hard to accept the physical changes caused by pregnancy, childbirth, and breastfeeding. They are struggling to see themselves as beautiful and desirable!
What frustrates moms
Getting unrequested advice.
What gets in the way of a mom’s fulfillment
The belief that to neglect and sacrifice herself is proof of her love for her children.
What moms wish
They wish that their spouse, friends, and family would understand what they are going through and what they need, without having to say it out loud!
What saddens moms
Realizing that they are not always the moms they wanted to be.
What comforts moms
Knowing that they are not the only ones who struggle with motherhood.
What moms believe
They believe (and they’re wrong!) that other moms are constantly fulfilled and always find it easy.
What is the biggest challenge for moms
The biggest challenge for moms is to make peace with the disappointments and changes they are experiencing. Mourning natural childbirth. Mourning instant attachment to their baby. Mourning breastfeeding. Mourning recklessness. Mourning their previous life, etc.
What moms learn through motherhood
They discover their strengths and limitations. They develop their sense of commitment and gain maturity.
What moms think of maternity leave
It’s no break at all! And they would love their spouse to understand everything that needs to be done in a day with a baby.
What moms think of their sex life
They often see sex as one more task to take care of. It’s just another selfless act that is adding up to the fatigue!
What causes conflicts between moms and dads
Sharing household tasks, involvement, and discipline.
What motivates moms to act as they do
They act according to their values and their definitions of what makes them a good mom. Each mom has her own criteria to evaluate her work.
What moms don’t always realize
That beyond fatigue and hormonal changes, the intensity of the emotions felt since they have been moms affects the way they adapt to their new role.
What moms could benefit from
Thinking of themselves as their best friend. Making better use of compassion and tolerance towards themselves instead of blaming and judging their own actions.
What moms tend to forget
They forget that their personality and character traits are still there even if they have become moms. They help determine the type of mom they are, which is a great one!