Dad

The father-daughter relationship

February 13, 2023

The father-daughter relationship is very special and constantly evolves. From the age of 3, the father has an influence on his daughter’s gender definition and, later in life, her role as a mother. Keep reading for a zoom into this father-daughter relationship.

Love changes around three years old

Up until the age of three, a daughter is very attached to her mother. Then, she must take her distance from this fusional love and turn to her father who will introduce her to a larger world and give her faith in the kind of girl that she is. At this moment, the daughter dedicates an unlimited love to this coveted father and the couple must be strong enough to put everyone in their place.

It will be important to clarify that her father is in love with only one woman, her mother, and she will later find a man who will love her too. This phase is hard to accept and may take a while to sort itself out or does so only partially if the couple is facing difficulties.

This is why teenage girls must be able to find other love bonds outside of their families and keep this relation of complicity with their fathers but with more modesty and reserve.

The first man in her life

A little girl needs to see her parents love and desire each other to be able to love and be loved too.

Thanks to her father who will have shown her the way, she will experience a relation of love and desire, similar to the one lived by her parents. The loving gaze that her father carries for her mother is decisive for the little girl to be happy and fulfilled without fearing to form her own couple.

The father helps his daughter develop her femininity. This masculine look is essential and allows the girl to assert herself with a man. It allows her to develop a positive image of herself even if her views remain tender and unambiguous.

Between a father and a daughter lies a relation of love, tenderness, and admiration. The father must encourage and support her. He shows her the outside world and prepares her for the professional and personal aspects of life.

A relationship that becomes complex through adolescence

During adolescence, they naturally distance themselves from each other to allow other men to seduce the young girl.

The girl becomes more modest and the father must withdraw while keeping an eye on her rehearsals to seduce other men throughout her life.

These changes, like her changing silhouette and her first love experience, may be misunderstood by her father. Not only is she getting away from him but she will also tend to go back to her mother.

Despite all of this, the reassuring and admiring eye must persist. The young girl requires some distance but must remember that her father is the one who showed her the way. She gave him her heart but now she must give it to others to lead her own life. Not only will she become a woman too, but she will also be a mother one day and her father must confirm as she grows that she is capable of carrying life.

Martine Jouffroy Valton
Psychotherapist

Martine studied clinical psychotherapy in 1995, earning a diploma from the Gestalt Intervention Centre of Montreal, followed by five years of practicing therapy in the city. She has accompanied people on the road to death, and has helped families affected by genetic illnesses or AIDS. Today, she works as a coach for a communications and marketing company, helping to recruit international experts for the European Commission in Brussels. She also has a private practice and greatly enjoys one-on-one time with her patients. For more info, email her at martine@taktic.eu or give her a call at +32-485-614-234.

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