Letting go

What is this strange force that makes us want to be 100% efficient in every sphere of our life? What if we just learned to let go?

That’s just how we are! Human beings are not happy unless they have full power over their lives. But is it possible to be 100% efficient in everything that we do?

Several woman want be perfect mothers, perfect wives, perfect employees… In short, they want to be more perfect than perfect. What an awful ideal to bear! It is clear that it is impossible to achieve. Without noticing, you waste your time and energy trying to achieve perfection instead of enjoying every moment that passes.

A matter of attitude

Letting go is a matter of attitude. It also means wondering what it will bring us and what we will sacrifice. Because it is true that letting go means sacrificing control, among other things. Therefore, you will realize that you will no longer control everything in your universe. But what does this control bring you? What is the positive intention behind full control?

And if we were to oppose letting go to its opposite, control? In fact, this is where the whole problem takes form, in the need of wanting to control everything. Does letting go mean forgetting about your goals and objectives? No, not at all, it just means that we need to accept to accomplish things another way.

Letting go is giving up on controlling everything, it is renouncing to prove anything, it is accepting that someone else is someone else and that you are who you are, not who you always wanted to be.


One thing is certain, to achieve this, we will need to be aware of the absurdity and loss of energy that we put into this desire for perfection and of all the good times that we miss just to be perfect. Perfect for what? Perfect for yourself or for someone else? What if we allowed ourselves to simply be? What if you dared imperfection?

What would happen if you could let go? What are the real consequences? Would you be any less of a great person? Could you learn to get better?


In NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming), the SCORE model (symptom, cause, purpose, resources and effect) is used. For example, if the symptom were "I never seem to stop", the question would be "pursuit of perfection," the goal "not to offend", the resource would be "letting go" and the effect "great inner well-being. "

Specifically, if you never manage to stop, you constantly run towards perfection in all areas of your life. In such a case, your goal (related to the cause) would be "trying not to offend. " Now, what resources do you use to turn the tide? "Letting go". This is how you will achieve a direct effect on your life, "with calm and great inner well-being. "

A few tips to help you

Living in the moment
Too often, our life is scheduled like clockwork. We need to plan it all, to know everything in advance. What if we lived in the moment, not knowing what will come next? Let’s take time to look at what happens to us, to admire and enjoy! Let’s be aware of how lucky we are through every little thing in life, like taking a cup of coffee in the morning and enjoying the moment, the smell, the heat that coffee brings us. When stuck in traffic, let’s sing loudly instead of raging. Let’s look out the window and enjoy nature and its beauty. Living in the moment can be learned!

One small step
Take one small step at a time! There’s no use going too fast and your results might not be what you anticipated. Take the time to take your time; this is the key to success. Rome was not built in one day!

Relaxation can easily be practised without taking much of your time. You can easily add one or two periods of 10 to 15 minutes of relaxation to your daily schedule. Use this time to relax or simply breathe! Soak up the sun, walk in a park or just allow yourself to stop!

Yoga is a wonderful way to let go, a time to listen to your body and relax. Yoga is a Hindu technique that requires mastering the vital functions of your body to free your mind from its constraints. The word yoga comes from the Sanskrit "root". Yoga is not a religion, but an exercise. It allows harmonizes the body, mind and soul.

"The way we breathe is directly related to our emotions, says Lionel Coudron, sports medicine and director of the Yoga-Therapy Institute in Paris. As soon as they disturb us, our breathing changes. If we maintain a rapid respiratory rate, corresponding to a state of stress or anxiety, we extend this emotion. As we are the only living being that can act on the frequency and amplitude of our breathing, the first thing to do is to reduce the respiratory rate in order to lower stress "

  • Letting go is not regretting the past and living and growing in the present for the future.
  • Letting go is being aware of who you are and accepting yourself as such.
  • Letting go is to allow yourself to simply be, without wanting to be more!

Now ladies, will you dare to let go?


1- Psychologie.com : Conseil : apprendre à respirer la sérénité (In French)

Véronique Gauvin

As for many moms, it was after my first pregnancy that my outlook on life has changed. Then, I knew that I really wanted to get into this adventure of motherhood! I went back to school to develop my practical training with a doula and was hooked. For me it was a new adventure that began. I also did my "basic" level in NLP and am currently training as "coach". Helping others is part of me; it is my life! Today, I have two wonderful children and I wish more than ever to share my contagious passion! In 2011, I founded the Toi et Moi Centre de Maternité, a maternity centre located in Laval that is dedicated to supporting women and their families! 

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