Psychological Factors
Over time, individuals with chronic pain often change the way they view themselves. They frequently feel that they are not contributing to the family or to society. As self-esteem diminishes, sexual desire and feelings of desirability also diminish. Depression, anxiety, fear, guilt and resentment contribute to the loss of desire and self-confidence in sexual performance. Discuss these concerns with a health-care professional.
Pharmacologic Factors
Medications used to treat pain can diminish libido or may inhibit sexual function by causing changes in blood flow, hormones, or the nervous system. Antidepressants, antihistamines, sedatives and antispasmodics can alter sexual function. Discuss these concerns with your physician as some drugs may have less adverse effects than others.
Suggestions for a more fulfilling relationship:
Open communication. Relationships suffer from the lack of communication. Tell your partner “I really miss our sex life.” Love unconditionally, make a commitment to understanding how fibromyalgia affects both of you and keep a sense of humor. Be appreciative of your significant other and enjoy each other.
Rediscover the romance. The mood should be relaxed and romantic. Schedule a date night with your partner, perhaps using soft music. Touching, handholding, kissing, couple’s massage and couple’s hot tub, can be excellent forms of intimacy. Take time to find sexual positions that produce the least pain using pillows.
Provide a comfortable environment. Drafts can increase muscle pain so ensure you have a comfortable room temperature. You may need more time and attention to get aroused and should not be approached when physically exhausted.
Professional counseling. If fibromyalgia interferes with this total process of showing love, then both partners need to acknowledge this and make a commitment that this interference will only be temporary as you learn to redefine intimacy. A qualified sex therapist can provide a supportive atmosphere in which partners can discuss sexual problems and concerns regarding their intimate relationship.
Sexual intimacy strengthens the closeness and caring bond between partners. Dissatisfaction with the sexual aspects of a relationship and the loss of shared intimacy and trust can lead to feelings that threaten the total relationship. A health professional can provide a treatment approach related to the nature of the sexual problem.
