Couple/Sexuality

Being a mother changes our life… and sex life!

How are you living with these changes? Are you concerned about the drop in or absence of sexual desire? Has it affected your relationship with your partner? Do you feel scared, sadden, guilty or powerless? Would you like to live positively through these changes?

If that’s the case, this article is for you because it's filled with ideas, reasonings, and solutions!

Accepting

You probably know that accepting reality is the first step to feeling better. How do you know if you’ve accepted a situation? If you are peaceful and calm inside, you did! In this case, you can act efficiently. Otherwise, your feeling of powerlessness will overcome everything, and you will feel trapped in the situation.

Thoughts and feelings

Pay attention to how you feel when you think about your lower sexual desire. It will bring on either happy or uncomfortable feelings. What you tell yourself about your lack of desire will affect the way you feel and act. Becoming aware of your feelings and thoughts is the best way to change them.

Well-being

Being a mother is a full-time job, and accepting it does not mean you love your children any less. However, this reality has an impact on your sexual desire. You may sometimes feel like sex is “overtime” work! This only means that you need to recharge your batteries and get some alone time. You don’t have to take a day at the spa or go away for an entire weekend. Even if you are extremely busy, it’s possible to take time for yourself every day. Here are some tips that will contribute to your well-being, and consequently, improve your sex life!

  • Take some alone-time
  • Meditate
  • Listen to music
  • Confide in someone trustworthy
  • Sign up for meetings/workshops
Daily relationship

The impact our day-to-day life has on our relationship is underestimated, and yet, it shapes us into the parent and couple we want to be. The main challenge is to take care of our partner and us every day. Special occasions, vacations, outings and intimate moments are there to lighten our days. However, the expectations are so high that we often end up disappointed. That’s why we should pay attention to the quality of our relationship daily. This will have an impact on our satisfaction level on special occasions...

Thoughts on how to live happily every day
  • How do you reunite at the end of the day?
  • What is your level of empathy and compassion towards the other person?
  • What place do intimacy and tenderness hold in your relationship?
  • How’s the bond, respect, and support?
Communication

Your communication level with your partner will influence the way you live through these changes. You must talk about your feelings. By having the courage to be honest, you will make your relationship more intimate. Talking about your concerns about the lack of desire allows your partner to understand and interpret your behavior. Many women stop all affectionate demonstrations by fear of having to go “all the way” and men often feel rejected or believe that there is no more love.

Don’t assume that your partner knows or understands what you’re thinking and feeling. He is probably going through many emotions as well, and it would be a good thing to ask him how he feels, as long as you are ready to listen to what he has to say. Some men feel rejected and are jealous over the attention given to the baby. Even if men don’t have to go through all the physical and hormonal changes, they have to adapt to this new reality and it’s normal for them to have feelings too.

Once you have spoken about your lack of libido, you could speak about your and his desires (emotional and sexual). When your desires have been established, negotiate a situation where you will both be pleased. Choose the right moment to talk about your concerns, which means, not in the middle of an argument. People are more receptive when they are less emotional. 

The main goal is to create a new environment where everyone feels loved and respected.

This week

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