You dream of having a baby. You spend hours browsing baby names and you keep trying to make little comments to your spouse hoping he’ll understand the message and agree to your wishes. But he doesn’t seem to understand the message and you’re starting to feel frustrated and a little discouraged.
Your biological clock is ringing
There comes a point in every woman’s life when our body and mind just send us the signal that we are ready for motherhood for different physical reasons, like the ideal age to bear a child or psychological reasons like having achieved goals that we had set out for ourselves. This hormonal pull can be extremely strong when we start seeing the time passing and we begin to see our chances of getting pregnant decrease.
According to Manon Fabi, NPL family coach, it’s when women are 20 years old that their fertility is at its peak and it decreases slowly at the age of 30 to 35 years old, to finally decrease faster. The probability of having a child at 35 years old is about 12% while it’s already down to 6% for women of 40 years old.
It’s normal to feel a sense of urgency especially as you may feel an intense need to finally have a child, to take care of him and to maximize your maternal instinct and develop your family.
Of course, no matter what your reasons are, you must take into consideration that having a child is a decision that must be made by the two of you and it should always be taken with love and respect, so that you can share all the fun, but also all the responsibilities and fears. This important decision deserves careful thought and an honest discussion of your expectations and concerns.
The risk of putting too much pressure
It’s possible that your partner will simply refuse to budge, which might mean you need to take a decision. If he feels you are not respecting his feelings, he may decide to leave the relationship for the wrong reasons, because he is feeling misunderstood.
If he eventually gives in, it’s likely that he will not feel committed or have a deep desire to have this child. Manon tells us that this can definitely have an impact on the child, since the father’s attachment will not be well established, which can create a lack of affection and prevent a healthy and balanced development. In addition, the fact that he felt forced will probably have a negative effect on your relationship, as he will most likely be feeling frustrated or even trapped. Harmony in a relationship is essential to ensure a safe and healthy home environment for the child.