The ABC of toilet training

The right time for children to be toilet trained should not be determined by their age. It is not solely up to you to decide when it’s the right time to be potty trained! Your child must have gone through some development stages before he's ready to move on to this next step. Youmust consider his motor, language, social and behavioural skills, and even the type of relationship he has with you.

Your child is probably ready if he ….

• Can stay dry in his diapers for periods of 2 hours or longer during the day;
• Is able to let you know when he needs to use the potty chair;
• Understands and follows basic instructions;
• Can walk to the potty chair (or adapted seat);
• Is stable when sitting on the potty chair;
• Wants to please you;
• Wants to be independent.

How to do it?

• It is better to use a potty chair rather than a regular-sized toilet for the first few steps because your child will feel safer and more stable. The potty chair allows the child to have a better posture, which helps with his sense of safety and boosts his self-confidence.
• If you are using a regular size toilet, make sure you have an adapted seat with a large and stable stool for your child’s feet.
• Make sure the potty is is easy to get to.
• Allow your child to be present when you go to the bathroom and make him feel comfortable in the bathroom. Allow your child to see urine and bowel movements in the toilet. Let your child play with flushing the toilet.
• Consider placing a potty chair on each floor of the house if you live in a multilevel home. Allow your child to observe, touch and become familiar with the potty chair.
• Tell your child that the potty chair is his own chair. Allow your child to sit fully clothed on the potty chair, as if it were a regular chair. Allow your child to leave the potty chair at any time. Do not force your child to spend time sitting on the chair.
• After your child has become used to the potty chair and sits on it regularly with his clothes on, try having your child sit on the potty without wearing pants and a diaper.
• The next step is to show your child how the potty chair is used. Place stool from a dirty diaper into the potty chair. Allow your child to observe the transfer of the bowel movement from the potty chair into the toilet. Let your child flush the toilet and watch the bowel movement disappear down the toilet.
• Learn the signs that tell you your child is about to pee or poop. You will then be able to guide him to the potty chair before he does it in his diaper.
• Encourage your child to tell you when he needs to go. Congratulate him even if he warned you too late; positive reinforcement is still the best method.
• Don’t expect instant results and be ready for accidents. Stay calm and avoid threats, punishments and, of course, yelling.
• Don’t punish your child if he doesn’t succeed and don’t humiliate him by calling him “a little baby” because he could regress.
• Notice the daycare or the person taking care of your child to keep a consistent routine.
• After a successful week, you can move on to Pull-Ups/Easy Up diapers. Make it a special occasion.
• If your child has a couple of mishaps, he should be able to go back to wearing diapers if  he’s little and training pants if he’s older. He should not be punished or feel embarrassed. Start over a few weeks or months later  when your child seems more ready.
• Remind your child not to drink two or three hours before going to bed.
• Remind your child to empty his bladder every night before going to bed.
• Explain to your child the importance of getting up during the night if he needs to pee.

What to do if your child refuses?

The worst attitude to have when potty training your child is to think of it as “war” against diapers. Not only will your child not respond positively to this attitude, but he could also develop behavioural issues that may add on to the toilet training. Furthermore, if your child is well into his “no” stage, you will both dig your heels further into the ground and no one will come out a winner in this situation. Needless to say that if you always seem disappointed in him, your child’s self-esteem will take a hard hit.

• If the first try in toilet training doesn’t work, it’s probably because your child is not ready.
• Some children have a hard time stopping to play to go to the potty. Avoid this problem by letting your child play or read while he is on the potty chair.
• Some children may be hesitant to poop in the potty chair if their feet are not stable. It is highly recommended that your child be comfortable on the potty.
• Your child may be afraid of regular-size toilets. Sometimes, they are afraid they’ll fall in and this fear is reinforced with the sound the toilet makes when we flush it.  The fact that excrements “disappear” in the toilet can sometimes be a psychological trauma for a child who feels that he has to let a part of himself go. Toilet training is easier with a little potty chair.
• If your child refuses to be potty trained, it is better to stop the process for one to three months. After forgetting about the first try's failure, most kids will be ready to be toilet trained.

If your child is getting older and still wets the bed or uses Pull Up/Easy Up, motivating your child with rewards may be helpful. You or your child could draw or put a sticker on a calendar for every dry night. When the chart is complete, give him a reward and congratulate him for his progress.

This type of alarm reacts to little drops of urine and wakes your child as soon as he's started to wet the bed. It works with miniature batteries that are inserted ina special pad worn on the body. According to the Community Paediatrics Committee of the Canadian Paediatric Society, this approach should be the first one used in cases of enuresis (bed-wetting). Going for this option requires motivation from both parents and child, at least until the child gets used to waking up by himself when the alarm goes off.

Easy to use, these alarm devices have a 70% success rate and are used during three to four months. It may take one to two months before bladder control improves. This treatment works best with children ages seven and eight.

Sources: Canadian Paediatric Society, Réseau Proteus, CHU Sainte-Justine