At school like anywhere else, some people have more affinities and become friends. That’s nothing new. What’s new for you is the fact that these people meet at your child’s school while your children play and learn together.
When moms become friends, their children get looked after together, do homework with each other and prepare school projects that sometimes are much more inspired than that of those who worked alone. A mom who sees that could wonder if she should make an effort and ask other parents over now and then. On the other hand, introverted moms perceive all these social efforts as a burden. Do you really have to make friends at school, too?
School gives you the opportunity to hang out with people who are at the same point as you are. Even your best friend doesn’t know what your child’s teacher is like, how funny the principal is and who does what at the Parent Association. Stories give you something in common, extracurricular activities too, and it gives you something to talk about in the morning. That’s a great aspect of school.
In the meantime, you meet the little brothers and sisters, and you see how your children play together. It’s almost a family moment and these sweet times reassure you about your child’s school years.
“Would you like to go shopping?”
Things get complicated when your friendship leaves the school. Five things could happen:
- You are chuffed to find such a good friend with whom you can pick apples and share secrets.
- Your new friend is okay, but you don’t have much in common outside of school.
- Your friend is awesome but your children don’t get along.
- You don’t have mom friends at school, and you feel rejected.
- You don’t have mom friends and you don’t want any.
A friend… or not
If you found a friend for life, good for you! You can meet new BFFs everywhere and finding one is always good news.
However, you could realize that your new friend isn’t one. Perhaps she’s overwhelming or maybe she avoids you. In both cases, you should avoid confrontations at all costs. Arguing parents always have an impact in the schoolyard because your kids aren’t blind. You should also avoid talking behind your friend’s back because it sets a very bad example.
Our children don’t get along
If your children don’t get along, you don’t have to force them; you can very well be friends without imposing your friendship. Meet without the kids or let them play on their own. After a while, they could discover common grounds but in the meantime, it’s not worse than having a single friend.
What if I have no friends?
The mom of a third grader recently told us: “I see a lot of moms who have a common babysitter; they go out together and seem to get along. Some even go on trips together even if they only met last year. But no one ever calls me, It’s almost as if everyone stopped talking when I tried to mingle by the school door when we dropped off our kids. I hope my daughter won’t suffer from this.”
Obviously, a stay-at-home mom who has a great relationship with the father of her children needs a lot less help than single moms who share rides, and call each other in case of emergency. It’s not because they reject you, it’s because you are doing fine on your own. If you really want to make friends at your child’s school, ask other moms to go out. However, keep in mind that you don’t have to push this in order to make your child happy. Children get along on their own, and will soon manage their own friendships.
What if I don’t want any friends?
Your child could also be friend with these women’s children. Because of that, you will be invited to sports events, movie nights and birthdays. Although you accept their invitations now and again, you may not want to change your busy social schedule.
If you don’t want to change your ways, if you think that your circle of friends is perfect as it is or if you are introverted, don’t be afraid to look awkward or weird. Explain the situation. You have a lot to do already just because you’re a mom, and you are who you are. No one will ever resent you for it.