Family life

How to make peace with your mother-in-law

Never good enough!

She thinks you are not good enough for her son! This kind of mother-in-law has an opinion on everything, the color of your living room, the way you raise your children, the spices you use in your Sheppard’s pie and the city you chose for your holidays (where she won’t even be!) You never do anything right! You know that she doesn’t appreciate you and tries to get everyone on her side, including her son… Furthermore, she compares you with her son’s ex-girlfriends and it hurts you. And what do you do when you get hurt? You seek revenge, and you become as bitter as she is. War is declared!

The danger in this situation is to get caught in an escalation of nastiness and negative comments. Do we really want things to be that way? Does she need to make herself look better by putting us down? Even if she has self-esteem issues, she does not have the right to hurt ours.

Such a mother-in-law could drag us into a terrible race to get her affection. Whether we seek revenge or we try to please her at all costs, this relationship is negative! You must act and try resolving it, as fast as possible.

The solution

In a situation like this, you do not want to be the ideal daughter-in-law just like you are not looking for a perfect mother-in-law. You only want to bring things back to a reasonable level. First, you must try this little exercise. Ask yourself why her comments and remarks always affect you? Which hurt you the most? Why? You must also question the importance that you give it. If she passes a remark on your spaghetti sauce, does it have an impact on you as a person? Do you like your sauce? Then, why would you give so much importance to her comment? Maybe you could just put everything in perspective and react calmly instead of giving her the impression that she dominates you. “What can I do? The whole family likes the sauce when it is spicy!” First, it shows that her comments do not affect you and second, it shows that you will not change for her. Don’t let her comments affect you.

Moreover, you can ask your husband to come to your defense and to mediate so that his mother understands that her attitude is not appropriate to build a kind family atmosphere. Our darling must be able to step up and tell his mother “Enough!” when she disrespects you. Talking to him will allow you to find a good strategy to stop your mother-in-law's games.

For a better relationship

Identify key moments where emotions are at a peak and remember delicate subjects that are best avoided. That way, you will be prepared!

This week

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