Every day, while coaching, I meet women and men who wish to become better parents, better persons. They want to love their children as much as they can and do so “the right way”. Although they have not realized it yet, they are already wonderful people filled with love, abilities and many resources. They all already have within themselves the solutions and answers to their problems.
What is the proper way to love?
For me, it is a gift of life to get the chance to work with these people and see them find solutions by themselves and empower their lives to achieve their personal and familial goals. I consider that my job only consists of guiding them towards this awareness and to support them in their journey towards achievement.
It is during this stage of awareness that many significant and obvious changes occur in their personal and professional life. They realize that activating and integrating a few basic principles into their lives, such as loving themselves and others, authenticity, respect, non-judgment and humility against ego, makes them capable of healing deep wounds, by limiting them recurrently in their interpersonal relationships and to reach a state of inner peace and well-being. This healing process represents a major strength in the capacity of loving their children “truly” because it is by loving ourselves first that we become capable of loving others, more specifically our children and partner.
What should we do?
Usually, it does not take much for these people to get in contact with their resources and implement these basic principles. They learn to tame their pride, to trust and appreciate themselves, to forgive their own mistakes and to accept being imperfect. What a transformation and what a difference it makes in our lives and that of our children!
This process of true love towards oneself is, in my opinion, the first step to develop a relationship of love and health and balanced commitment with our children. This is also the greatest legacy we can bequeath our children: loving them “truly”, as they are, as we are. Once this is completed, you will find a beautiful parent-child relationship based on love and trust. Cooperation, fun and, of course, self-esteem, humility, resilience and courage will give you the ability to face the challenges and ambiguity of your everyday life.
I share with you this thought-provoking text written by Charlie Chaplin that will touch your heart… and conscience. Already, in the early 1900s, good old Charlie Chaplin had understood very great things in life… true love is nothing new! Happy reading and happy integration!
As I Began to Love Myself
As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody as I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this person was me.
Today I call it “RESPECT“.
As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life, and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow.
Today I call it “Maturity“.
As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance, I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens at the exact right moment, so I could be calm.
Today I call it “SELF-CONFIDENCE“.
As I began to love myself I quit stealing my own time, and I stopped designing huge projects for the future. Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm.
Today I call it “SIMPLICITY“.
As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health – food, people, things, situations, and everything that drew me down and away from myself. At first, I called this attitude a healthy egoism.
Today I know it is “LOVE OF ONESELF“.
As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since, I was wrong less of the time.
Today I discovered that is “MODESTY“.
As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worry about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where EVERYTHING is happening.
Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it “FULFILLMENT".
As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me and it can make me sick. But As I connected it to my heart, my mind became a valuable ally.
Today I call this connection “WISDOM OF THE HEART".
We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing new worlds are born.
Today I know THAT IS “LIFE“!
- Charlie Chaplin