Family life

To truly love your children, you must truly love yourself

In this short article, I suggest taking a moment to reflect and meditate on who you are as a parent and as a person… loved, lovable and loving.

Every day, while coaching, I meet women and men who wish to become better parents, better persons. They want to love their children as much as they can and do so “the right way”.  Although they have not realized it yet, they are already wonderful people filled with love, abilities and many resources. They all already have within themselves the solutions and answers to their problems.

What is the proper way to love?

For me, it is a gift of life to get the chance to work with these people and see them find solutions by themselves and empower their lives to achieve their personal and familial goals. I consider that my job only consists of guiding them towards this awareness and to support them in their journey towards achievement.

It is during this stage of awareness that many significant and obvious changes occur in their personal and professional life.  They realize that activating and integrating a few basic principles into their lives, such as loving themselves and others, authenticity, respect, non-judgment and humility against ego, makes them capable of healing deep wounds, by limiting them recurrently in their interpersonal relationships and to reach a state of inner peace and well-being. This healing process represents a major strength in the capacity of loving their children “truly” because it is by loving ourselves first that we become capable of loving others, more specifically our children and partner.

What should we do?

Usually, it does not take much for these people to get in contact with their resources and implement these basic principles. They learn to tame their pride, to trust and appreciate themselves, to forgive their own mistakes and to accept being imperfect. What a transformation and what a difference it makes in our lives and that of our children!

This process of true love towards oneself is, in my opinion, the first step to develop a relationship of love and health and balanced commitment with our children. This is also the greatest legacy we can bequeath our children: loving them “truly”, as they are, as we are. Once this is completed, you will find a beautiful parent-child relationship based on love and trust. Cooperation, fun and, of course, self-esteem, humility, resilience and courage will give you the ability to face the challenges and ambiguity of your everyday life.


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