Family life

Becoming parents changes our world

We could all sing it together: becoming a parent really changes the world! How? In many ways… see for yourself!

Life isn’t the same! Our daily life is turned upside down. I don’t see life the same way… Many differences between “before” and “after” having children are unanimous.

  • The daily schedule has been completely rethought
  • We don’t see time the same way, it flies much more quickly and because we realize how precious it is, we manage it more tightly
  • Guilty pleasures such as sleeping late and going out are almost a thing of the past
  • For many of us, work takes less place in our hearts and heads and, consequently, in our schedule
  • Our circle of friends shrunk or changed
  • We are amazed by pictures, objects or events that would have never had such an impact before
  • Some of our principles and values have changed like our requirements for tidiness and order (we are more flexible or intransigent), our concern for health and safety the “all about me” becomes “all about my kids”…
  • We discover parts of our personality that we did not know about. Some of us see themselves as “new women”

These rearrangements affect most new families. The arrival of children in the life of a couple – and the separate lives of the individuals forming that couple – can also be transformed in surprising and unusual ways.

We asked mothers on our Facebook page to describe how becoming a family changed their lives. Some answers may surprise you but as you read on, you will probably sigh and smile thinking “That’s true!” or “For me too!”…

When I watch moves, I don’t see myself as the heroes but as their parents. For example, I cried when Andy leaves for university and says goodbye to his mom in Toy Story 2.

For me, everything has changed: I only think about my children! I had no patience before having my son and now I have plenty! The love of a mother did not make so much sense before I had children. Now I understand my mom when she talks about it…

I’ve learned to let go. Before, I was a workaholic; I could work 70 hours a week. I kept my home clean and it looked like a designer’s home. Now I don’t work as much and my house can be a bit dusty and I accept that dishes are not made for one day, I don’t care! I enjoy what life has given me, a life filled with surprises and love…

I think the only thing that changed is my watchfulness when I enter someone else’s house or in another backyard. I check everything to make sure that it is safe for the children. I push my father’s glass when it is near the edge of the table… For everything else I did not find that having a child changed my life that much except for the arrangements. Anyway, with or without children, life requires constant adjustments and compromises.

Everything changed! I stopped drinking… I used to drink every day… I never slept. I crossed the street without looking… Strangely, I stopped drinking on August 15th and on October 4th, I found out that I was six weeks pregnant. I drank again later but I promised myself that I would never drink in front of my daughter until she is old enough to understand. She is now two years and a half and it’s been three years since I drank. I also found out that crying was ok. If I feel like crying, I cry and above all, I started to love again. I did not want to get attached to her at first because of the negative experiences of my childhood. I was afraid to lose her if I loved her like I lost everyone I loved in my life. And now I tell her that I love her at least 100 times a day…

I love my parents, even more, I feel more like a woman and I love to see myself through my son’s eyes.

Everything changed. I am a mother living with a disease that causes handicaps so it was a big deal for me to take care of my babies because there are no services for mothers like me. That’s why I took a professional coaching course and now I help mothers who live with a disease or a handicap and who want to combine disease-handicap-motherhood-work-family in addition to living a full life and achieving their dreams!

Everything changes! I can’t sleep for twelve hours in a row anymore! I can’t go out all the time! No more drinking, no more drugs, no more hanging out! But I would never change anything! I love my son! We learn to occupy our days. My life is so much better now!

I am much more careful, I don’t seize the day as much, I sleep at night, not in the morning, I don’t drink, I don’t smoke and I don’t go out anymore. I am less materialistic, more patient, more organized and I learned to think about others before thinking about myself. I lost a few friends because we are not in the same world anymore. I think that having a baby made me grow from girl to woman!

For me, it is the perception of the word love… I thought I loved because I love the father of my sons but since I have my children, I can’t explain it… no love is stronger than this. We become the most important person for someone and it is a great responsibility so we try to be worthy, no matter what.

I ended a relationship with domestic violence for the sake of my child, to protect him. Being a single mom wasn’t a burden for me, it was liberating. Our opinions on delicate subjects change when we have children. We are more tolerant about subjects and very intolerant about others. We learn to swallow our pride and seek help. Ask our friends, our own mom. And yes, I too understand that a mother would do anything for her children. Thank you mom!!

I quit my job to stay home. I am much closer to my parents too and it is a good thing that my children see them often. Every day little things of life amaze me, thanks to my daughter. And my daily life is completely different but it is fine by me. I think being a mom was what I was missing to be fulfilled. I can’t wait for the next!

I rediscovered life through the eyes of children and it feels good!

My daughter gave me the strength to express myself and take my place. She was the catalyst that allowed me to change my life… I feel much better about myself now.

I realized that time flies and life is precious. My biggest fear is not to be there tomorrow to see my son grow and guide him with the values that I cherish. Since the accidental death of a member of the family, I was afraid because life is fragile but it is more intense since my son was born.

Becoming a mom taught me balance: choosing and investing in what is truly important and put aside what is not. It also taught me to aspire to be the best person I can and be a good example for my daughter while accepting that perfection does not exist.

Image de Josée Descôteaux

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