The confidence of new parents

Despite all the joy, happiness and exaltation related to their first baby, new parents will have to adapt very fast to many changes.

The lack of confidence comes with the baby. Parents wonder whether they will be capable of bringing this pregnancy to terms. Will I be able to give birth? I would prefer not to ask for the epidural but what if I can’t deal with the pain? Will I be able to breastfeed? Will I be a good parent? Will I be able to take good care of my child? How will I know what’s good and what’s bad for him?

Let’s start on the right foot: there are very few people who can claim to completely trust their skills as parents. Everyone lacks confidence here and there in regards of their parental capacities.

What is a good parent?

A good parent is a parent who adapts to his child. For new parents, the abundance of tips is overwhelming and even sometimes harassing and annoying. What new parents need, is to follow their instinct, to act in line with what makes them feel good, what makes them feel safe.

What is a good mother or a good father?

Who decided what makes a good and a bad parent? Is there a reason why parents are so scared and lack self-confidence? When you fear being judged and compared, it is harder to stay calm and Zen.

The key to confidence

Listening to your heart is the key to success. Self-confidence must be cultivated and learned; you must practice to get it. Too many parents want to be perfect and suffer from a low esteem of their parental skills. We compare ourselves with neighbours, cousins and sisters-in-law and, of course, the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.

What if the solution to our lack of confidence and guilt was simply to accept that it is okay to be wrong once in a while? Our oldest child still needs his pacifier, and we took 30 minutes to notice that our baby’s diaper was full. So what? Nobody’s perfect! We’ve all spent our first nights with our baby to check if he was still breathing. We all overdressed our baby. We kept him on us at all times, pretending that it comforted him while we were the ones who needed comforting.

Trust your baby

Very few new parents know that they will understand their baby long before he talks. Your baby communicates when he cries, moves, smiles and does these little things that he does every day. Learn to trust your child, he will guide you and help you become a good parent. When he cries, he will tell you that he is hungry, tired or needs to be hugged! He will show you signs that you will learn to understand when the time to introduce solid foods comes or when he is ready for potty training. If you trust him, you will make an amazing duo.

Being a parent is trial and errors, exploring, experimenting and trying again! No specialist will ever do that for you! Dare to trust yourself!

Véronique Gauvin

As for many moms, it was after my first pregnancy that my outlook on life has changed. Then, I knew that I really wanted to get into this adventure of motherhood! I went back to school to develop my practical training with a doula and was hooked. For me it was a new adventure that began. I also did my "basic" level in NLP and am currently training as "coach". Helping others is part of me; it is my life! Today, I have two wonderful children and I wish more than ever to share my contagious passion! In 2011, I founded the Toi et Moi Centre de Maternité, a maternity centre located in Laval that is dedicated to supporting women and their families! 

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