Dad

Sleeping with your children

How to break the habit?

It's possible to drastically cut the habit by telling your child that it’s over! But it will not be easy! Nothing is! By doing this, you'll avoid problems later. And what’s a few weeks when you think about it? "Work progressively to instill the idea to your child that your bed is a private space," says Louise Mauriello.

Here are a few simple steps to break the routine without causing too much drama. Advice: work with your spouse as a team. You’ll be able to support each other because let’s be honest: bedtime will be hard for a while and the temptation to give in will be intense!

1. Sleeping with the child in their own bedroom.

« It’s already much healthier to sleep in the child’s bed», notes Louise Mauriello. If your little one has trouble going to bed alone, keep them company in their bed at bedtime, and if they come to your room in the middle of the night, take them back to theirs and stay there with them. You probably won’t be too comfortable, but it’s the best way to make the transition. This way, your couple’s intimacy is respected and you’re helping your child become more independent at the same time, adds the psychologist.

2. Progressively reduce the time you stay by their side

At the beginning, you’ll probably stay until your child falls asleep. You’ll even wait until their in a deep sleep before going back to your room. As time goes by, you can progressively reduce the time you stay by their side. Try to create a soothing routine to prepare your little one for your departure: « One last lullaby and then mommy’s going to her room. I won’t be far if you need me. »

3. Use a transitional object

To reassure your child, give them something that will make the transition a little easier: a blanket, teddy bear, etc. It’s even better if the chosen object has a little bit of your smell on it. It will help your child gain their independence, while still feeling close to you if needed.

4. Common sense

Of course, there are exceptions. "If you go out on a visit, you may have to sleep in the same bed as your children, but if they don’t usually have access to your bed, they’ll understand very clearly that it is an exception. And won’t even ask to do it again! , says Louise Mauriello. Also, it’s not necessary to always prohibit the parents’ bed. The important thing is to clearly establish that night is the time of day when children are not allowed to go in that space." But nothing prevents you from watching a movie all snuggled up together in bed or allowing your children to join you in the morning. It's just important to set some limits!

Image de Nadine Descheneaux

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