It is of common knowledge that the female sex drive varies a lot during the various trimesters of pregnancy. What about men? A recent study on “intimacy, sexuality and affective behaviour of French men” (Brenot, 2011) says that:
- Masculine desire seems little influenced by the state of pregnancy or maternity;
- For 53% of surveyed men, the fact that their partner was pregnant did not change their desire;
- For 70 % of surveyed men, the fact that their partner has become a mother did not change their desire. To this question, only men who had children answered the question (70% of the sample).
Thus, one man out of two saw a change in his sexual desire after his partner became pregnant. Indeed, as with sleep, mood and eating behaviours, changes occur when a couple is expecting a child.
The hormones of the man are not fluctuating like those of the woman but, like her, he is affected by the identity adjustments that he must make. He will no longer be only a man but also a father. (Clergue & coll., 2011).
Some women perceive this identity crisis as a sexual detachment of the man due to their own physical appearance. But it has been demonstrated that most men remain attracted to their pregnant partner. If the male sex drive varies, it is mostly because he is worried about matters that he does not always share. The main reasons that bring a modification in the male desire are worries about the mother and the child like the fear of hurting the baby during sexual intercourse, moral reluctance to make love in front of the child and the fear of becoming a father. (Reichenbach, 2001).
Therefore, pregnancy is a period of adjustment for both men and women. This period is conducive to sincere communication within the couple to promote sexual behaviours that will satisfy everyone.
A new life is about to blossom and its entourage is in progress. Couples must stop trying to obtain the same sexuality as before and should instead consider pregnancy as an opportunity to experience a different sexuality where you have to readjust and innovate.
By Élisabeth Brodeur, Sexoloxy intern at Seréna Québec
- Brenot, P. (2011) « Enquête sur l’intimité, la sexualité et les comportements amoureux des hommes en France », Les hommes, le sexe et l’amour, Éditions Les Arènes, 400 pages.
- Clergue, C. Aubry, M. (2011) « Sexualité masculine et grossesse. Une promesse? », Sexualité Humaine Magazine, France, 10.
- Reichenbach, S., Alla, F., Lorson, J. (2001) « Le comportement sexuel masculin pendant la grossesse : une étude pilote portant sur 72 hommes », Sexology, 11(42), 1-6.