Couple/Sexuality

Adapting to baby's arrival

The arrival of a baby doesn’t change who we are as individuals. But it changes our lifestyle and each family member must adapt to this newcomer in the family.

Whether it's your first baby, or another one completing your family, there will certainly be a new dynamic in the house, requiring a period of adaptation. For example, you’ll have to change your routine and daily habits. And your sex life is not immune to this adaptation process.

Where to find the time?

More often than not, we seem to be missing time in a day to do everything we used to do before baby arrived. Most of our energy is devoted to our child, and what little is left is spent on doing housework here and there. Generally, when the time comes to be intimate with our spouse, we’re either out of time or out of energy! And when we do find a time where it could be possible to get some intimacy, it’s almost impossible, especially during the baby’s first months of life, not to be interrupted by one thing or another!

A bond that takes an important place

For some mothers, particularly during breastfeeding, the bond with their baby is very intense. Sometimes, the time the mother spends with her child fills her emotional needs and she no longer wants to get intimate with her spouse. It’s also possible that because the mother spends so much time with the baby, she’ll need to get her mind off things, and want to be alone or spend more intimate time with her spouse.

We shouldn’t feel guilty about wanting to have a few hours to ourselves when we need it. We should also allow ourselves some time to adjust. The baby will become more independent little by little, and we will gradually find some time for ourselves or for intimacy with our spouse.

Where’s my sexual desire?

For some women, sexual desire disappears during the first weeks following the baby’s birth, which also corresponds with the presence of lochia (post-partum vaginal discharge). Healthcare providers often recommend waiting about 4-6 weeks before having intercourse. For some, it’s a relief because they don’t have to explain their lack of desire. This number of weeks may vary from one woman to another, depending on how she feels and the physical consequences of childbirth.

Penetration is only one of the many ways to make love, and we have the right to decide when to reintroduce it in our relationship. If you're in the mood for it, flirty glances, caresses and intimate moments can be part of a sexual relationship without necessarily having intercourse.

The decrease or lack of desire may extend over a longer period of time, especially if the woman is breastfeeding. In the latter case, there is often little or no desire because the hormones suppress it. After one year, if you worry about the fact that your desire hasn’t come back despite the fact that you’ve stopped breastfeeding several months ago, you could consult a doctor for reassurance. A sex therapist can also advise you. However, don’t worry too much if you don’t have any sexual desire. You must simply follow your own pace and not rush things.


This week
Letter from a man on being a Dad

"First, I feel like a stranger in a strange and amazing new land – a man with a huge responsibility. Dad is my new full-time job description... and a work in progress." Find out what really goes on in the mind of a new Dad with this heartfelt letter to the mother of his child and the love of his life!

Finding inspiration in men's qualities

Instead of raging about men’s differences and nagging them about their ways of being and doing - often opposed to ours -  why not find inspiration in their qualities?

Celebrate « skinimalism » with Bioderma

Presented by Bioderma

Whether you are a fan of the smokey eye look or prefer an all-natural look, giving your skin a good quality cleansing care is essential. As the body's first line of defense, it deserves to be pampered!

Comments