Warning and questions
The Secrétariat à l’adoption internationale warns future adopting parents about the challenges that they will probably face. It is reported that they may have to deal with “health problems that went undetected at the time of the adoption, but reveal themselves once at home or a few years down the road”.
In China
The adoption of a Chinese child may cause more trouble because by signing the Hague Convention, China decided to strongly encourage local adoption, mostly of girls, leaving less children for international adoption, says Claire-Marie Gagnon. The waiting time can stretch and because parents end up loosing a little patience, they are more likely to accept a handicapped child or a child suffering from a disease.
Costs
Adopting a foreign child can cost between $20,000 and $35,000, not including lost wages. Here is a breakdown of the money spent:
- Governmental fees to emit birth and marriage certificates;
- Passport fees;
- Fees to obtain a medical certificate;
- Fees related to the psychosocial assessment;
- Travel and stay in the country of origin;
- Administration and coordination fees required by the certified bodies;
- Gift or humanitarian contribution required by the country of origin or by the orphanage;
- Translation and legal fees.
Beyond money…
Parents who would like to adopt a foreign child must join a group of adopting parents in order to “create winning conditions for international adoption”, Mrs. Gagnon suggests.
But they must first and foremost ask themselves this crucial question: “Are we ready to fight to bring up this child to become an adult or are we trying to fulfill our need for a parenting status?”
Testimony
I agree that we should take into consideration every aspect of such an important decision, including the risks specifically related to adoption but from my point of view, I think we tend to forget to make a parallel with naturally conceived children. What guarantee do we have that this child will be born healthy? We can never be assured that our child will be free of any deficiencies or any difficulties to adapt in society! Furthermore, to warn adopting parents about the fact that a child is a lifelong project and that they will have to live with him no matter what is, in a sense, completely ridiculous. Since when do we bother about the parenting capacities of women and men who would like to have children? Since when do we ask them if they are ready to make all the sacrifices needed to bring up this child to his adulthood?
We are overthinking this. Every child is different, whether he is from China, Haiti, Russia or Quebec. Yes an adopted child comes with a past, yes he is different, yes, maybe he has been through a lot but don’t you think that this child will be better off here, surrounded and loved?
Is it a coincidence that my four children who have been adopted from very different backgrounds and at different ages have never faced any major obstacles? Sincerely, I don’t think so! The secret is to accept your child the way he is, don’t try to make things more complicated than they are, make him feel like any other, love him, respect him, let him evolve to is own pace and according to his own capacities… and stop trying to make everything complicated by reading and analyzing every specialist’s theory. Everything is played in the day-to-day, don’t look any further.”
Francine Laplante, September 2011
