Studies indicate that when parents know how children develop, they are more responsive, sensitive, and skilful parents, and children are better off in both the short and long term.
According to the Alberta Benchmark Survey: What Adults Know About Child Development *, parents have a good understanding of physical milestones, such as when children learn to walk, but are less familiar with important intellectual and social stages.
To obtain these results, researchers with the Alberta Centre for Child, Family and Community Research polled 1,400 parents and other adults who interact with children. They found that most people knew when and how children learned to walk, toss a ball or draw. When it came to questions about attachment and develo - ping relationships, empathy, friendship, cooperation and communication, however, they weren’t sure how to answer.
So, to help parents, caregivers and the people who support them, the significant milestones during a child’s first five years of life are outlined here.
First Year of Life
Attachment, communication, personality and cooperation all begin developing as soon as a child is born and are well-established by a baby’s first birthday.
Breastfeeding
Research shows that when mothers breastfeed exclusively for at least six months and continue for up to a year, their children are more emotionally attached and also develop long term intellectual abilities. Some research shows that breastfed children cry less, are more alert and have better motor development. Mothers who breastfeed show improved confidence and nurturing skills. Breastfeeding also has important nutritional and health benefits for children, for example, protecting against some diseases and infections. These advantages may be due to the milk itself, being held by mothers in a close and intimate way, frequent skin to skin contact, and verbal and visual communication between mother and child.
Crying
Crying is the first stage in communication for babies. Different cries indicate needs and desires, but sometimes healthy babies cry for no apparent reason. The length of time babies cry varies widely. Most babies cry between one and three hours per day for the first six weeks of life. The length of time and the intensity of their cries increase until it peaks at about three months of age. Then, crying diminishes as babies learn to communicate through smiling, touching or babbling. Some babies cry excessively for no apparent reason and are difficult to soothe. These babies are often called colicky, but this usually decreases by about month five.
Attachment
Babies begin to develop an emotional attachment to their primary caregiver by about six months of age. This process is known as “attachment.” Caregivers who are warm, responsive and sensitive to their children’s needs help them to build positive attachments and relationships. Children who trust at least one caregiver enjoy a personal sense of worth and a belief in others. They are self reliant, efficient, empathetic and competent from the toddler years to adolescence. If they remain attached to initial caregivers as they grow up, they will continue to build close relationships with others throughout life. Attachment relationships also provide children with an understanding and appreciation of their culture. Children with insecure attachments may suffer from conduct disorder, aggression, depression or anti-social behaviour later in life. Recent research also suggests that children who received mixed signals from caregivers (comforting and anger at the same time) face heightened risk for poor development.
Temperament
Differences in a baby’s temperament or ways of responding to the world and new people are evident from the early months. Some respond to new objects quickly; others respond more slowly or not at all. Some travel easily from one adult to another; others insist on staying in their mother’s arms. Some are active; others are not. Some are easily soothed and welcome new experiences; others are hard to soothe and don’t like new experiences. Some laugh a lot; others don’t laugh very much. Parents need to learn how to respond sensitively to their children’s temperament and adjust to the baby’s signals.
By their first birthday, babies begin sharing activities and objects with others. They show an interest in other children and family members such as siblings and grandparents. They also raise their arms to be picked up by parents or caregivers and they like to play games.
One to Three Years
Toddlers aged one to three years become more independent. They learn language, become aware of themselves and the needs of others, and choose activities that interest them. By age two, children begin to develop patience, a senseof self control, and begin making friends. Kindness, nurturing, curiosity, creativity and cleverness appear over the next year. By about the age of three, all these character traits begin to define the child’s personality.
Behaviour
As parents impose rules and limits, often to protect the child’s safety, conflicts often occur. Toddlers who are upset and frustrated may respond by screaming, biting, hitting or having temper tantrums. These difficult behaviours tend to decrease as children’s verbal and social skills improve. This time is important for young children to learn to express emotions verbally instead of having tantrums, to negotiate instead of making demands, and reconcile with others after conflict. Learning these skills at this age means they are likely to be maintained throughout children’s lives.
Language learning
The ability to speak languages develops prior to the age of three. Children first express themselves using single words (“juice” for “I want juice”), then progress to two-word phrases (“want juice”) and then to three word (“I want juice.”) and more complex sentences (“I want juice in a red cup.”). Caregivers who repeat words, identify objects and ask frequent questions during this stage can improve language ability. Reading to children is also important for their early language development and learning to read.
Three to Five Years
As toddlers become more verbal and their imagination and empathy grow, they choose friends, form groups and cooperate to reach goals. All these skills are attained through unstructured play and by interacting with family members.
The importance of playing
Children learn to play on their own first or with adults. By age three, children spend much time playing next to other children and by age four, they are more skilled at playing in small groups of children. Some children prefer to play alone, while others are usually seen playing with small groups of children. Some children prefer more cognitive toys (e.g., puzzles, construction toys); others like to engage in pretend play (e.g., family roles, storekeepers, firefighters); others like to construct things (e.g., in art or with blocks). Other children prefer lots of physical activity and outdoor play. Sometimes, boys “play fight” or chase their friends, while laughing and giggling together.
Unstructured play enables children to imitate adults, improve motor skills, build confidence, develop creativity and learn to cooperate with their friends. Parents should provide children with lots of time for unstructured activities where children learn to guide their own play.
Conclusion
During the first five years of life, children learn to develop relationships with others, communicate, cooperate, make friends, and play. Caring parents and primary caregivers who understand these milestones can respond to children in ways that enhance learning, improve behaviour and lessen future emotional problems.
