I know you are in the middle of a wonderful dream, so I want to say sorry for this little cry I’m about to let out. I feel bad about waking you up, but at this point in my little life, my voice is all I have to get your attention. During the day, you hear my odd words and phrases that seem to get your attention, but right now it’s 2 am and I am hungry and thirsty. Only you can really understand what I am trying to communicate and why. Did I mention I love you?
I Want a Cuddle
Ok, it’s pretty obvious but I like when you hold me close to you. You smell wonderful and just the touch of your skin makes me feel safe and secure. This whole transition to the “real world” has turned out to be a bit overwhelming and confusing. Did I miss the instruction book? I sometimes have no idea what I am supposed to do. Little ideas come into my mind, but they are a jumble. There is so much color, sound, and shapes. When I wake up in the middle of the night and feel all alone, I just want you to cuddle me. If that means waking up from your beautiful dreams, well thank you mom, for choosing me.
I Want to Cry
Mom, I totally understand that my crying is pretty annoying. But if we could come up with a better idea, I’d really promise to give it a try. Maybe you could attach a little bell to my wrist or something. Can I just mention that crying is pretty natural? My baby instincts tell me that it’s far better to have a good cry than letting scary thoughts spin around in your head. Sometimes just having a little drink and holding your fingers makes me feel better. As I said before, I’m a bit overwhelmed by everything right now.
I Want to Eat
It’s true, I do get hungry a lot, and my time isn’t split into day hungry and night hungry. Sometimes I just want to eat. I don’t know how this breastfeeding thing works – but the food you produce tastes great! And I love how you hold me, you breathe deeply and stroke my head. I put my hands on you and you never pull away. Sometimes I think you are hurting a bit, but you never let me know and you never blame me. Thank you for being so brave. It’s nice to snuggle up next to a person who just loves me and cares for me without expecting anything in return – and who has great food to offer 24/7.
I am Afraid
Sometimes I get these feelings that something bad is going to happen that I am not ready for yet. I have not had a ton of experience in the world, so a sudden noise in the night or even complete silence when I wake up all by myself can make me uneasy. I just need you to whisper in my ear – “It’s ok my love, everything is ok. You are ok.” I know it’s a choice between your sleep and my smile, but I think it’s a reasonable thing for me to offer. I know you are super tired – I really do. Please know that I am new at this – even newer than you.
I Want You
So, thanks mommy for waking up and trying to figure out what’s on my mind. I know that it takes a lot out of you. I know you get tired. I watch you during the day and it makes me sad sometimes to know that I kept you awake for hours, just crying and wriggling and giggling, demanding hugs and food and company. I know how much of a nuisance I can be – but I promise in the future when I am grown up, I will be there for you. I promise you will always have me by your side. You created me – that’s pretty cool mom. And I’ll thank you all my life for that.