Some editors are not worried in the least about putting murders, abductions, shootings and domestic violence on the first page of their best-selling newspapers. How can we protect our children’s eyes and ears from all this drama? Should we talk about it or avoid the subject?
Events
Most murders and cases of domestic violence remain in a small section of our local newspapers and are only noticed by curious people with a taste for horror stories. If you happen to read these stories, no matter how terrible they sound, it is best to keep this subject for conversations between adults.
However, now and again, a child is lost and his parents are looking for him around the world. Sometimes, a killing is so awful that all media talk about it for months. In these extreme cases, it is impossible to protect our children from it and they will read bits of the story here and there and hear parts of conversations. In such cases, you will have to talk to him about it and proceed in three steps.
1- Ask questions
According to Nancy Doyon, family coach and author, parents should try to find out what children know first. “We must take time to understand what they know and more importantly, what they understand. Some children will hear elements of the story and add to it using their own life and imagination.” Indeed, it is by knowing what he knows that you will be able to figure out what he misunderstood and explain again in a way that he will understand. Asking a lot of question will also allow you to avoid adding gory details that he hadn’t heard about in the first place.
2- Short and simple
You are the one who knows your children best so you will find the right words to talk to them. However, as mature as they may seem, it is useless to go on and on about it. Avoid explaining the reasons that motivated a criminal and the social and political backgrounds that led to this terrible event because he might think that this behaviour is forgivable or understandable and he could repeat your words at school and get in trouble. Give general facts, without gore and without drama.
3- Listen and comfort
Pay attention to your child’s answers and don’t hesitate to ask questions too to make sure that he will not be overly worried during the following days. Like Nancy Doyon says: “It is only after letting the child expressing his thoughts and feelings that parents should comfort him and mention that these events are rare and that it is highly unlikely to happen to him.”
Of course, you will not be able to protect your child from these stories forever but he does not have to understand too much, too soon. If you believe that he has been shocked by the events, change the channel each time someone mentions it on television and discuss again to find the source of his stress. As for many things concerning your child’s education, communication is key.
