Family life

The "Caillou's mom" myth

… has passions : A good mother allows herself, outside of her family responsibilities, to unleash her passions : reading, arts, sports, travel, history, etc. In fact, she also shares them with her children and encourages them to discover what makes them tick.

… is assertive : because she feels and believes that she has value, because she respects herself and is respected by others, the good mother can give her opinion to anyone who will listen, takes the risk of disappointing the ones she loves and say "no" from time to time, doesn’t let anyone hurt her and does everything she can to change a situation that is making her unhappy.

She will also accept to deal with her children’s disappointment and anger by enforcing rules and sanctions if necessary, because she knows that teaching them respect is guiding them toward happiness.

… looks for balance : through reading, through consultations or through reflection, a good mother is always trying to evolve and move towards happiness. And if her life gets hard one day, if she falls down and is filled with despair, she will seek the support and tools she needs to teach her kids how to get back on their feet even when it's hard.

… is indulgent towards herself and others: Since it’s impossible to be perfect, since mistakes and frustrations are inevitable, she will be able to forgive herself just as she hopes to see her kids forgive themselves their own mistakes and weaknesses. She will also be able to apologize with humility but with her head held high.

… stays positive : she forces her eyes and her heart to see her children’s progress, she remembers and tells them everything she likes about them, she cuddles and encourages more than she blames. Even if she implements rules, even if she sometimes has to do discipline, even if her children are not always well-behaved, she doesn’t worry about it too much and remembers that she has 20 years to raise them and that “it will eventually sink in!".

… listens more than she talks : because by being interested in her children’s opinions, she’s developing their judgement and making them feel important. Because by listening to them, she can know and understand them better, make them want to behave responsibly and allow them to develop their own set of values.

In my opinion, a good mother thereby seeks to improve without feeling guilty about her imperfections, allows her children to be imperfect and make mistakes, but makes sure that they bear the consequences of their choices. A good mother does not seek to please or control her children, but rather allows them to blossom in a clear setting, surrounded by love and joy. And these principles also go for dads who dream of being the perfect father.

Nancy Doyon

Family Coach

Nancy Doyon has been a family coach and special education teacher for nearly twenty years. She has worked in youth centers, childcare centers, CLSC and primary and secondary schools in the Quebec region. Trainer and lecturer for several years, she is also very active in the media as a Family columnist. She contributes regularly to Canal Vox’s Bonheur total, as well as on Rhythme FM and FM 93 in Quebec. Her NANCY SOS report is also presented each week on channel V’s show Famille 2.0. In addition to writing for Motherforlife.com, she regularly publishes articles about children’s education in La Culbute magazine and on her website Dimension éducative.  She is also cofounder of the company Dimension éducative, which offers family, academic and professional coaching. She also recently published her first book, Parent gros bon sens : mieux comprendre mon enfant pour mieux intervenir.

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