Couple/Sexuality

Boys will be boys

It is the same each year: he gets ready with the boys for that incredible event to which you are not invited. Do you let him run away now and again?

They rented a cabin, got a hunting permit, followed leads and understood the route of a moose and they won’t tell anyone because they saw it first. Great! When you hear this, you understand how he feels when you talk about lip-gloss and shopping. “It’s a men’s thing honey and the cabin is scruffy, but we are only going for the weekend.” And you reply “Yes, of course, I understand (and I wouldn’t even go if you paid me!)”

Hockey, rodeo, hunting, pool, poker, sports and videogames are all activities that your husband cherishes but that are not planned to seduce you at all. Do you mind? Do you feel neglected when it happens?

He needs it

Some men need to take some time with other men, to practice sports or to be entertained without thinking of anybody else. These activities allow them to forget about work and spend some energy which is necessary when they spend a lot of time sitting down at work.

For many of them, it is also a way to keep in touch with their friends. You would be lying if you said that your dinners with the girls and your husband are the same as when he is away. It is the same for him.

Also, many women love to tell everyone how much they hate sports, poker and watching games of football during the weekend. Obviously, by saying these things, you do not sound like the ideal partner to watch the Superbowl. You have to be aware of that.

Time is of the essence

Some women will be glad to spend a few evenings alone, watching television, eating what they want and feeling single for a change. These moments alone are precious and quite rare for many of us.

Others will feel neglected. They will think it is unfair to stay at home and take care of the children while he is away, having fun and forgetting about his responsibilities. If that sounds like you or if you fear that he is truly trying to get away from you and your home, talk to him about it. He may be trying to get away from you but he may also find it hard to adapt to his new role. Talking about it could release some stress.

Otherwise, if you know, deep down, that he is not overdoing it at all and you are just jealous of the time he spends with his friends, create a system of “night-out points”. He goes out one evening? You will have an evening in bank and you will be allowed to go out with your friends too when you will feel like it.

Never forget that it is to your advantage to be happy and fulfilled together. This happiness depends on tolerance and on your respect for each other’s passions.

And if you cannot help it and want to refuse him the right to go out for the Superbowl, keep in mind that he will watch it at home anyway and then you will have to learn the names of the players and watch the game. Just like he knows Emma Stone and probably wouldn’t if it wasn’t for you.

Image de Anne Costisella

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