What does it mean to be a single dad?

Here’s a beautiful text written by a single dad and a great way of seeing life despite the separations and other challenges that we can face as parents.

Happiness from a dad’s point of view!

The life of a father is a great adventure in which we must acknowledge and prioritize happiness. If every moment is an opportunity to be happy and share that happiness, it is obvious and clear that being a dad is a privilege and a blessing. Our children were born pure. As a dad, I believe at every moment that I must protect that purity and make sure that the sole presence of my children contributes to making our world a better place.

Seeing this reality positively

Being a separated dad is a special experience that can become a great adventure in my opinion. Each event in life can be happy or sad; can become a success or a failure… It is our call because we’re not victims of our own life, we shape it the way we want it to be. So, even a separation can become a positive event. In my case, it is my separation that made me a Dad with a capital “D”. It forced me to define my role as a dad and to “exist” more intensely in the eyes of my children.

What does it mean to exist as a separated dad? To me, existing as a dad means understanding and assuming that we play a main role in the life and development of our children. It’s also knowing that children must lead children’s lives and don’t have to be exposed to our grown-up problems. It’s also remembering that, for them, we are not a separated family or a failed marriage but we chose different paths and it’s okay.

How does that apply on a daily basis?

In my case, it’s very simple, because I know that the two persons I love the most are my children: Thomas and Christophe. So, in every decision that I must make and everything that I must do, I take “our” happiness into consideration. It makes things much easier and it allows me to be consistent with who I am.

Today, I can say that I am proud of my relationship with my boys. Beyond my responsibilities as a father, I enjoy living a dad’s life!

In my opinion, being an awesome dad is:
  • Thinking that nothing is better than being right here, right now, just the three of us;
  • Turning any event into a special adventure;
  • Being happy when their mom has a business dinner because it means that we’ll spend an extra evening with the kids;
  • Picking up my guitar and waking the boys up with improvised and silly songs;
  • Cooking colourful meals, adding flavour, making it much better than anything we could buy elsewhere;
  • Adjusting my schedule to wait for them after school (and getting hugged);
  • Setting a custody (in agreement with the mom) that allows us to see each other almost all the time (Who wants alternating weeks anyway?);
  • Trying to identify their interests, their talents and creating an environment that will fulfill them;
  • Thinking outside the box and building a life that suits us according to our needs and our happiness.

A dad’s paradise is here and now, lying on the couch! A dad’s paradise is also when the boys say “I love you daddy” without being asked to. A single dad’s paradise is being chilled with the mom and thinking that we made the right decision…

Yes, it can happen! We are living proof!

Claude Minville

Claude Minville is part businessman, part musician and part Spiderman. Born in Grande-Vallee, he now lives in Quebec city where he raises his two sons. You can write to him at [email protected]

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