A child quickly learns that to live in society, everyone must work together. Many parents do all the chores either because it is quicker, because they want to avoid arguments or because they find excuses for their children (they had a big day, they're’ too little). How will they learn that everything is not done magically and that to be part of a group, all tasks and joys must be shared?
When to start giving a child house chores?
Remember thatthe little 3 year-old to whom you said: “You can’t do this, you’re too little” will tell you the same thing when he's 13!. Children should assume their personal responsibilities, such as: cleaning their room, making their bed, putting their dirty clothes in the clothes basket and putting their dishes in the dishwasher. In addition, they should be responsible for a daily task that will be done for the good of the whole family, such as setting or clearing the table, making a salad, etc. It all depends on their development stage and capabilities. They should also be responsible for a weekly task such as cleaning a certain room in the house, taking out the garbage, etc.
Tasks that can be done by a child that is…
2-3 years old
- Brush his teeth with a little help
- Turn on the water and fill up a glass
- Put dirty diapers in the garbage
- Put dirty spoons in the dishwasher
- Put his wet clothes in the dryer
- Bring things to the table at lunchtime
- Wash and dry his or her hands
- Put dirty clothes in the basket
- Pick-up his toys with a little help
- Get dressed with a little help
4-5 years old
- Take his toys out of the bathtub and pull-out the bath cork
- Get dressed alone
- Bring plates and utensils to the table
- Put his clothes in the basket
- Take the utensils out of the dishwasher and put them in their right place
- Pick-up and put away his
6 years old
- Wipe the table with a moist cloth after dinner
- Put his dirty plate and glass in the dishwasher
- Wash their hair under adult supervision
- Sign cards or thank you notes
- Help do the grocery by putting things in the shopping cart and holding a light grocery bag
- Help take the grocery out of the car
7-9 years old
- Wash the sink and bathtub
- Get rid of the bad weeds on the lawn
- Look for words in the dictionary
- Wash their hair
- Make a sandwich and prepare a lunchbox
- Dust the living room
- Write and mail birthday invitations
- Clear and wash the dinning table
- Clean his room and make his bed
- Sweep the floor
- Wash the car
- Prepare his breakfast
- Fill and empty the dishwasher
- Fold and put away clean clothes
- Help with dinner preparations
- Take out the trash
- Start managing his money under adult supervision
- Prepare his clothes and schoolbag for the next day
10-12 years old
- Mow the lawn
- Vacuum
- Prepare simple meals
- Use the washing machine and dryer
- Compare prices at the grocery store and calculate the difference with a little calculator
How to encourage them to help with house chores?
Be an example
If a parent does chores and seems to fuss about it, the kids will realize that there is nothing fun about it. On the other hand, if you sing or even dance to music while you’re cleaning, it is more likely that your kids will want to help. It’s more motivating when it seems fun and enjoyable. Instead of saying: “I’m so sick and tired of doing everything by myself”, share your limits and your needs with them. “I need everyone to play a part in cleaning, dinner preparations and house chores. I need some help because I need rest and playtime just like all of you”.
You can write all the chores on a piece of paper and ask: “What are you ready to do?” If possible, let them pick the chores they prefer or pick one out of a hat.
Plan the day and time that the chores must be done.
Agree on the consequences if someone does not do their chores. For example, you can say that the television won't be turned on until the morning routine is done, or that all chores must be done before heading to the movies. The grandmothers’ rule: “Work first, have fun after” can be useful. Don’t forget to encourage them to do their chores.Playtime or family activities can motivate your children.
Example
Linda and Brian have decided that in addition to their personal chores, their children would have a daily and weekly responsibility. A few days after assigning tasks to everyone, their 6 year-old Julie wouldn’t stop thanking her parents for the chores. She said that she was so proud of herself. Linda and Brian couldn’t believe it and felt like they had given their daughter the greatest gift ever.
All kids don’t react this way. The earlier we start, the easier it is to have their collaboration. Furthermore, when kids have responsibilities before being in school, it is easier for them to be responsible for their school tasks. The ones that resist don’t understand the amazing gift you are trying to give them. The message that goes with giving chores is the following: “I love you enough to teach you how to live without me, because I want you to become independent. I trust you and know that you are able to do this task and do it well”. Love and trust give wings, and that is our main goal: to teach them to live without us.
