Couple/Sexuality

Sex during pregnancy

Sexuality changes during pregnancy, of course. And once the baby is born, you must also adjust. Sexologist Julie Pelletier evaluates the situation with us.

Unless of medical problems, pregnant women’s sexuality is an extension of what they were doing before pregnancy", says Julie Pelletier. But this doesn’t mean that there are no changes. First of all, some couples reduce the frequency of their sexual relations during the first weeks following a positive test for fear of causing a miscarriage. "Theoretically, the risks are minimal, but it could still be seen as an obstacle", says the specialist.

If some couples were having problems in bed before the pregnancy, this new period could further widen the gap. Beware! It will take some effort to ensure that the flame does not go out. Still, pregnancy is a time when the desire follows the woman’s hormonal fluctuations. Just stay in tune with yourself and your partner, and above all, talk about it so that everything goes well. The changes should not scare you. Your sexuality may not even change during those nine months during which your body is “creating” your baby. There might be low periods where affection takes more space than intercourse. Feel free to talk to your spouse to ensure a smooth transition. And see your pregnancy as an opportunity to explore another facet of sexuality.

1st trimester: My body? Really?

You have to learn to accept the temporary “loss” of your body, and deal with overwhelming fatigue and nausea. Don’t expect too much during this first trimester. Usually, you’ll see a small decrease in our sex drive", says Julie Pelletier. Of course, there are exceptions ...

2nd trimester: the return of balance

"Pregnancy is deep-rooted, you’re more confident and above all, it shows that you’re pregnant. You feel beautiful and since your belly is not too big, you can use this time to reconnect with your ​​sensuality. Indeed, during pregnancy, women are very close to their senses and if their partner pays attention, well, they’ll just enjoy it even more", says the sexologist.

3rd trimester: Ups and downs

The belly becomes bigger and sometimes even cumbersome. Some movements are not as easy as they used to be, which means that the couple might need to change their sexual positions and make trials… and errors! Don’t be shy to stop your lovemaking session to find a more comfortable position. Also, some people - both the man and woman – feel like there is someone between the two of them during sex, which creates a mental block. “Sometimes, switching to a position where the belly is not as visible can solve the problem", advises Julie Pelletier.

Doggie style, from behind. You crouch on all fours and can even use a pillow to support your belly. This position promotes a deeper penetration.

Sideways. This position has you and your partner lying on your sides facing one another. It keeps weight off of your abdomen while supporting your uterus at the same time.

And after? - Staying connected ... again and forever!

The idea is to maintain the connection between both partners, and not feel guilty either! Respect each other’s pace and listen to each other”, recommends Julie Pelletier. From the adaptation to your new life, the hours of nursing or bottle feeding, the accumulation of fatigue, your other children’s adaptation to the new baby and the changes - again! – in your body, sex may not be your top priority. And this doesn’t mean that you no longer love your spouse! “Take the time to listen to one another and focus on the present moment. Yesterday, you felt good, and tomorrow, who knows? Focus on the ‘here and now’. Also, it's very easy to put the neighbour on a pedestal  according to what she tells you about her sexuality, but who knows what’s really going on in her bed?, notes Pelletier.

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