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We can be heroes

Your children look up to you and imitate you. Are you a role model? Are you a symbol of happiness and adventure? What is a hero for you? For them? 

According to my 8-year-old daughter, a parent is the hero of his children when he is interested in what they do and what they are going through. In my opinion, a parent is a hero when he takes time to listen to his children and when he considers that they are smart enough to learn everything that he knows. According to my father, my hero, a parent should neither be a hero or a friend; he should be a guide and a reference.

Timing

Spectacular and ideal parents are not the same depending on the child’s age. Some parents have a swagger and a carelessness that is very popular during high school while others will be the perfect and sweet parent from the beginning of their children’s lives.

For their part, children tend to think that their very permissive parents are amazing when they make a rebellious phase easier but it does not mean that they will look up to them because of it. A true hero should be unfaltering, consistent and fair.

We all have a type of personality that fits perfectly at one moment or another of their development. It does not mean that you cannot be an ideal parent throughout their lives but you should expect little moments of glory here and there. Enjoy it! For some, these moments come and go quickly.

Make efforts

Your children are constantly looking at you and imitate you as soon as they get the chance. Without making superhuman efforts and even if they love us just the way we are, we should always do our best so that our child will always have the best example to make good choices and do the right thing.

From a child’s point of view, parents represent the future. Some want to be better than their parents; some are concerned at the thought of never being as awesome as them. Your music, your talent, you way of talking to the neighbours, your swagger and your capacity to drive a manual transmission are all little things that your children notice and idealize without your knowledge.

Children also learn a lot from your work. Indeed, the children of a carpenter, a musician or an accountant will not have the same background as the children of an actor, a lawyer or an electrician. Even though these children will not necessarily follow the same professional path as their parents, their line of thinking will always keep a little something that their parents consciously or unconsciously passed on to them.

They also learn from your passions. When you share with them what you really love, they see you as a professional on the matter. It is also an excuse to spend time with you and that’s often what matters the most to them since a true hero always listens carefully and always helps when you need him.

Too much pressure

You should not worry, you cannot be too perfect for your children and you don’t need to be their hero to be a good parent. Sometimes the hero will be your brother, your mother, your husband, a TV star, a guitar player or a complete stranger who has pretty hair and it does not matter.

If you intend to convey your knowledge and to listen to him, your child will get from you what is most important. He will get the most of your life experience while learning from the events of his own. It’s a classic, the student will eventually surpass the master and you will proudly witness it.

When he will be older and when you will have some time to relax, he may confess that all this time spent arguing and rebuking you was just his way of showing how much he admired you and how disappointed he was when, by denying him a cupcake, you were not up to his expectations up there on the highest pedestal he could erect for the greatest hero of his life, his parent.

By Anne Costisella

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