Periods are never nice but the inconvenience is nothing compared to the pain they cause month after month when a woman is trying to get pregnant.
This pain quickly turns into impatience, sometimes after only five or six months of waiting. Let’s face the facts, for a woman who wants a baby, the notion of time is twisted and a month seems like an eternity.
Here are a few samples of women who want a baby on our forum:
“I want to stop thinking about it! We have been trying for six months and I have to admit that I am getting worried. Of course I am aware that my little six months is nothing compared to some who have been waiting for months, even years but I want that baby so much! I had stopped looking at my temperature four months ago but I think I am going to try again to understand my cycle. My curve is so strange and worrisome, it’s as if I am not ovulating! I want to stop thinking about it, let things go but I just can’t!”
Being impatient is often justified: you can wait for a very long time. So long that you may feel the need to share your hope and despair with women who are going through the same thing. No other human being can understand you as much and that is why Motherforlife.com created the Trying to conceive Group.
Delays to conceive a child
- Around 25 years old, a couple has a 25% chance of getting pregnant at every cycle with an average conception delay of 3 to 6 months.
- A couple conceives a baby after 6 to 12 months on average.
- The percentage of women who conceived a child after one year of regular intercourse without contraception is 84%.
- After 2 years, it is 92%.
- Almost 80 % of all couples conceive a child naturally after 2 years.
- 60% of couples facing difficulties conceive a child after one year.
When impatience is ruling your life
The will to conceive is so strong that it can become obsessive. For some, it even ends up hurting the relationship with the partner who soon becomes a simple donor. The lover and friend that he was is suddenly less important and as soon as the “right moment” comes, we almost force him to stop the press and jump in bed.
Your attitude towards yourself
Guilt may get to you when you cannot get pregnant. You can also feel guilty because you cannot fulfill your partner’s desire to have a child. This situation generates tensions in many couples and you need a lot of love and communication to resist this stressful situation.
Your relationship with others
Impossible for a “trying” couple to avoid comments like “You think about it too much!”, “You have all the time in the world, there is no rush!”, “What are you waiting for, the clock is ticking…” or “It will happen when you are ready”. Those comments can be discouraging but the ones who said it were only trying to encourage you. Isabelle Dagenais, lecturer on the well-being of mothers and collaborator at motherforlife.com, explains that this kind of sentence is usually their way of saying that they feel powerless about your situation.
It is even more hurtful to see others succeed where we failed. Here are a few comments found on our forums:
“I have to admit that I tend to avoid gatherings when I know there are young mothers there, talking about their kids, sharing the joys and pains of being pregnant because for one I feel excluded and secondly, it reminds me that I may never have one myself…”
“I am having trouble with my pregnant friends. In fact, I was the first to try for a baby and all three had time to get pregnant (really quickly too!) and to give birth! It was really hard to see them every week with their happiness and their bellies that were growing by the day! I had more trouble with one of them in particular… and it left us a bit bitter. She did not understand why I had a bad reaction when she announced her pregnancy… in fact I could not recognize myself!”