Family life

We can be heroes!

Your children look up to you with such admiration in their innocent eyes. For them, you truly are a one-of-a-kind hero! Are you their role model? Are you a symbol of happiness and adventure? What is a hero for you? For them? 

When a parent is always interested in what their children are doing and what they are going through, they become their hero – or so that’s how my 8-year-old daughter feels. In my opinion, a parent becomes his or her children’s hero when they pay attention to what their children have to say and they consistently take time out of their day to focus on their children and their opinions. I think that showing your children that you believe in them – and making sure they believe in themselves too – is what makes you a hero in their eyes. According to my father, my hero, a parent should be neither a hero nor a friend; they should be a guide and a reference to help you through life.

One day you're cool - the next, you're not! It's all about timing

Spectacular and ideal parents are not the same depending on the child’s age. Some parents have a swagger and a carelessness that is very popular during high school while others will be the perfect and sweet parent from the beginning of their children’s lives.

For their part, children tend to think that their very permissive parents are amazing when they make a rebellious phase easier but it does not mean that they will look up to them because of it. A true hero should be unfaltering, consistent and fair.

We all have a type of personality that fits perfectly at one moment or another of our children’s development. It does not mean that you cannot be an ideal parent throughout their lives but you should expect little moments of glory here and there. Enjoy it! For some, these moments come and go quickly.

Continuous efforts never go unnoticed

Your children constantly look up to you and often try to imitate you when they have the chance – whether it is by dressing up in your clothes or simply imitating your actions. They are trying to show you that they want to be just like you! Of course, your children love you just the way you are, but that doesn’t mean you should stop trying to be a role model. It’s important to be consistent in your behaviors and choices. Parents should always do their best so that their child will always have the best examples when it comes to making choices and doing the right thing.

From a child’s point of view, parents represent the future. Some want to be better than their parents; some are concerned at the thought of never being as awesome as them. Your music, your talent, your way of talking to the neighbors, your swagger and your capacity to drive a manual transmission are all little things that your children notice and idealize without your knowledge.

Children also learn a lot from your work. Indeed, the children of a carpenter, a musician or an accountant will not have the same background as the children of an actor, a lawyer or an electrician. Even though these children will not necessarily follow the same professional path as their parents, their line of thinking will always keep a little something that their parents consciously or unconsciously passed on to them.

They also learn from your passions. When you share with them what you really love, they see you as a professional on the matter. It is also an excuse to spend time with you and that’s often what matters the most to them since a true hero always listens carefully and always helps when you need them.

Don't let the pressure get to you - your children love you no matter what

You should not worry, you cannot be too perfect for your children and you don’t need to be their hero to be a good parent. Sometimes the hero will be your brother, your mother, your husband, a TV star, a guitar player or a complete stranger who has pretty hair and it does not matter.

If you intend to convey your knowledge and to listen to him or her, your child will get from you what is most important: they will get the most of your life experience while learning from the events of their own lives. It’s a classic, the student will eventually surpass the master and you will proudly witness it. You don’t need to be your children’s heroes for them to look up to you – so always do your best as parents to set the right examples.

By Anne Costisella

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